The world is full of reasons to spur us into seeking validation. The online world even more so with its plethora of likes, comments, traffic, add to carts, views, etc. It is an unending search, an unquenchable well of thirst.
The key question is not in the externals but what is it internally that spurs us to keep checking for validation all the time. However much you may implement practical techniques like silent notifications, unsubscribe from emails or uninstall apps that pull you into validation, the fact is that the biggest pull comes from within. If the pull is inside, the mind always finds a way to seek the validation from these apps and tools.
So the key is to ask why is it that there is a need and search for validation inside us? All techniques and practices come down to quelling this search by extinguishing this need within.
This search comes from a belief system that there is something incomplete inside that needs to be completed by external validation. If this belief is changed, and not just changed, but internalised and lived through with true realisation, then that search will stop. It is like a person whose stomach is full – that person doesn’t go around looking for food because there is no hunger inside.
There are many ways to tell and convince the mind that it is already full and doesn’t need to get anywhere to search for validation. Avoidance or aversion is another form of attachment anyway, is not effective in the long-term though it may provide a start in some cases. A better positive approach is to realise what is within us and how it is already complete. It comes down to identity.
Identifying with the eternal soul within us that is actually timeless and complete, the inner source of infinite joy – is the only real method. The search for validation is done not by this spiritual entity but by the body, mind and intellect complex that covers it. This entity is what we actually are.
Once one identifies oneself as this infinite source within and realises one’s true nature, the search for validation will stop. Till then one has to keep practicing by going back to this source everytime such a need arises.
Easier said than done, but that’s the only real way.
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