Swami stormed into the café last weekend, phone in hand, eyes wide like he had just discovered a hidden treasure.
“Jigneshbhai!” he shouted, waving the phone so wildly that I almost spilled my coffee.
“You won’t believe the deals I just found!”
Across the table, Jigneshbhai calmly stirred his coffee. He didn’t look up. He didn’t even flinch.
“Hmm,” he said, the single syllable carrying more calm than Swami’s entire body language.
“Look at this!” Swami thrust the phone in front of Jigneshbhai’s face.
“Fifty percent off these shoes. I don’t even need them right now, but how can I let such a bargain go?”
Jigneshbhai took a slow sip of coffee.
“And this,” Swami continued, swiping furiously, “thirty percent off an air fryer! Think about it — healthy snacks, less oil, more savings!”
Before Jigneshbhai could respond, Swami was on to his next discovery.
“Buy-one-get-one-free on selfie sticks! I don’t even use one, but who knows when it might come in handy?”
I bit into my muffin, watching this show unfold, wondering if Swami would even breathe between sentences.
Finally, Swami paused, taking a deep breath.
“Jigneshbhai, this is practically like saving money! If I buy all of this now, I’m actually profiting.”
Jigneshbhai stirred his coffee again, the spoon clinking softly against the cup.
“Swami,” he said slowly, “a discount is only valuable if you needed it before it was discounted.”
The words landed like a splash of cold water over a raging fire. Swami blinked. His scrolling stopped. He looked at his phone, then at Jigneshbhai, then back at his phone, clearly torn between deleting his cart or checking out before the deal expired.
I chuckled quietly, almost choking on my muffin.
***