Maid for Each Other: The Secret Sauce of Marital Harmony

“I washed the dishes today” my father-in-law proudly proclaimed, when we visited them.

“That’s just today, what about me washing them for the past three days?” jutted my mother-in-law, claiming her rightful place under the sun.

“Yes. By the way, we need to get that floor swab tomorrow. Do you know where you get it nearby?” he asked me earnestly.

“No – don’t try that. Let’s look for an alternative tomorrow” my wife interjected, recognizing the risks.

“That’s what I have been telling him since morning” the mother-in-law continued. “But he just does not take any effort to get another maid” her complaint continued.

“I have been trying. But these security people don’t respond to my requests. How else do I get a maid? Am I a head hunter?” my father-in-law defended himself.

My son started wondering what’s wrong with his grandparents. They looked made for each other normally. But he, like my wife and I, soon realized that the reason for their ‘special love talk’ today was clearly the maid. Or let’s say the lack of a maid. For the past few days.

Couples fight over different things at different stages in life, I guess. Newly married couples fight over in-laws and whether they should tolerate each other’s parents any longer. A few years later perhaps, they start fighting over whose job or whose career is more important if both are working. A few years down the line it is, perhaps, over which house to buy, and then, over children and how to raise them.

But I guess one thing that runs through as a common thread over the years is domestic chores and who does what. The activities of house cleaning, dish washing and other countless related activities stay there, and don’t disappear. And the house maid is a third-party solution that all parties concerned are comfortable with. A maid is a solution to multiple problems that couples face at different stages in life.

Young couples get more quality time due to maids. Middle aged couples get more peace of mind due to maids. And Old age couples get respite from each other due to maids. NRI couples return to India due to maids. Migrating couples leave India in tears, because they will have no maids. A lot of matrimonial harmony can be attributed to the stable presence of a maid in the household. Even unmarried singles swear by their maids to keep their houses clean and their health fine. I am not sure, but nowadays smart girls may choose to marry responsible boys who have maids already employed before marriage.

So all in all, for couples, everything goes smoothly when the maid is around. Till she inevitably goes missing. ‘Short Absconds’ typically happen once every 2-3 weeks. And the ‘Full Absconds – probably to greener pastures or God knows where’ happens once every few months. The IT Industry would pride itself in its attrition rates if we start measuring Maid Attrition. A maid that has stayed with you for a full year is worth her weight in platinum, or gold – whichever is more expensive. And she knows that.

So here is a lesson for all husbands and perhaps, even prospective grooms. Tell your wife, mother, mother-in-law and every other woman in the house to take care of the maid. She is a resource that is valuable. And priceless. Tell your wife to treat her well. Tell your mother or mother-in-law to act like a head hunter and keep a close watch on other maids in the locality, just in case.

Else, imagine a sink full of dishes waiting to be washed every morning. Imagine learning the art of floor swabbing without bending your back. Imagine dusting the house every few days. And finally, imagine an irritated wife almost all the time.

So if you are a couple that is made for each other, invest in a maid for each other. It will pay off in the long run.