|
Getting your Trinity Audio player ready...
|
Here are my notes (part 2) from Life’s Amazing Secrets: How to Find Balance and Purpose in Your Life by Gaur Gopal Das.
WHEEL 2: RELATIONSHIPS
‘A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.’
Having fewer possessions frees one of anxiety, giving you more mind-space for the vital things in life.
There are many ways to perceive others. We should start choosing the one which magnifies the positive and avoids the negative. ‘Anyone can find the dirt in someone. Be the one that finds the gold.’
‘It is said that we can control two things in our life, our desires and our motives. Our desires govern what we want and our motives tell us why we want it.
Being blunt and abusive can be emotionally draining for both, and the person receiving the feedback switches off after some time.
We should not simply let our anger loose—we should explain it. When we express what we feel, we do so at the risk of seeming unpleasant, but when we take the time to explain our emotions to people, they might be able to empathize with us. The bottom line: hot heads do not give good feedback—choose a better time.
‘Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.’
‘We no longer bother with the subtle intricacies and niceties in our relationships—we think about people in terms of their purpose or utility, and hence, our interactions are driven by that intention. We think about products the same way.’
Although a moment of patience in a moment of anger can save us a thousand moments of regret in the future, usually when we are suffering intensely, we cannot help but let our minds run amok. For our own growth, we should maintain equipoise in testing times.
In order to practise forgiveness, we have to learn to separate the incident from the person. Disconnecting the person from the problem starts with the language we use to describe the incident
Some spiritual leaders would advise us to always forgive, regardless of the situation. Although that sounds like the most peaceful approach, it can end up doing more harm than good sometimes.
Forgiveness is a deep and often obscure value to understand.