Baby on My Back: Short Story

I bent my back and picked up the big grey brick of stone on the ground with my hand. I stood straight and put it on the under-construction layer of bricks and stones in front of me.

I felt a soft foot kicking on my back and smiled. I completed what I was doing. The stone brick had to be placed correctly. It was a big rectangular cube that fitted well in a slot on top of the two feet wall. The layers of bricks and stone would together form a solid foundation for the small bridge-road. That road would connect our village and adjoining areas with the highway to the mountain pass.

“Don’t pour too much cement between the stones,” the contractor shouted at the woman next to me. She was tasked with the cementing. I let her do her job and focused on picking the next stone.

As I bent down, I felt a slight niggle on my lower back. I held my hip with my right hand and massaged it a little. A small guggle from my shoulder put a smile on my face. It eased the pain, but only slightly. I pulled the cloth sling around my waist and tightened it. I patted her bottom so that she doesn’t sink into the sling. I pulled her tiny hands around my neck. “Hold on here,” I told her. I tied the knot on the upper portion of the cloth sling. Then I bent down again to lift another stone.

“Wait, let the Army vehicles pass,” the contractor shouted. All of us labourers stopped in our tracks to let them go. I let that stone stay on the ground and stood straight in an instant. I waited for the army vehicles to come closer with bated breath.

The contractor signalled to the army truck driver to move ahead. The green truck approached us rolling its wheels in slow motion, as if treading with care over the tenuous road surface that was still under construction. The driver in uniform was careful that his tyres didn’t spoil the shaky road that the villagers working for the army’s border roads unit were in the process of building. The army has always been good to us villagers near the mountains. We keep them in good humour too.

The army vehicles and their steady gentle movement over the fragile terrain reminded me of him. It was much like he used to be, soft and gentle, with me, handling me with loving care and tenderness.

This time of the year was the time when the army vehicles filled their supplies from our village and the surrounding areas. In another month, it would start snowing. We would be cut off for the winter season till spring started. Much like I have been cut-off from him. But it has been more than just one season. Hasn’t it been a year? Or more? Yes – more than two. She will turn two next month.

Time has no meaning when your life is empty. A moment, an hour, a day, a month. They are all the same. I let them pass with their treacherous slowness. Waiting.

He was always gentle with me, ever since we were growing up together in our village. I knew ever since we held our hands and went to school together that we would end up together all our lives. Everyone in our village knew. But I knew that one day he would end up in the army. Everyone knew.

No one stopped us. We ambled across the small streams, the cold waters and the icy hills in our neighbourhood. We held hands tight rubbing them over the hot fire in the cold winters in our hut.

My mother always told me that when the winters come, you must light the fire. But that shouldn’t stop you from enjoying the summer while it lasts. I remember all our summers together, especially the last one before he joined the army and went away to his posting.

The green army truck came closer. It was on the opposite lane. It made a lot of noise while it rode over the tenuous road. When it passed me by, I peeped inside the driver’s cabin. My eyes searched for him. The driver was a middle-aged man. He flashed a wise smile. Next to him were two young sepoys. I turned my eyes to the ground. I could sense them laughing when the truck went ahead.

I know a young woman like me should not stare at men. But I didn’t care. I wanted to make sure I didn’t miss him, just in case. He had promised me he would be back much earlier. It has been a long time since he went away and left me all alone.

I raised my face and turned it again to the truck. In its storage area were some bags of goods. Next to them stood a few soldiers in uniform. They were tall and had beards. The one I was looking for wasn’t there. In one glance, it was clear to me that this was not the truck.

So I shifted my attention to the next one. And the next one. And the next one. Army trucks come in groups when they do. I didn’t want to miss any of them. There were eleven of them this time.

All my fellow labourers sat on the perch next to the mountain cliff and waited for them to pass. They knew why I didn’t join them there. I knew some of them laughed at me. I felt some of them, the ones close to us, felt sorry for me. I didn’t need any of that derision or sympathy. I didn’t bother.

I turned back to wink at my baby. She didn’t judge me. I stood on the edge of the road, next to our construction site, peeping into each truck, making sure I don’t miss him, by any chance. I peeped into all the army trucks as they passed. Today was not the day. Again. Like so many days in the past. But I don’t lose hope. I am certain that one day our eyes would meet again.

Yet I wondered where was he? Why did he not return? Why has he left me alone with our baby?

As the last of those eleven trucks passed, the contractor signalled everyone to get back to work.

I tapped my baby on her bottom again. I pulled her up before she slid any further in my cloth sling. She was going to fall asleep. Her head rested between my neck and shoulder. The soft breeze that the passing army trucks got with them had that effect on her. I tied the knot on the upper portion of my sling again. I remember a few days back when I had missed it, she almost toppled over.

Her slow, silent breath on the back of my neck was enough solace for me. I turned back and kissed her forehead. I am sure that one day her father would come back and do the same. Till then, I will lay the road for him to return. I picked up the stone I had left on the ground and laid it on the pile. With all my strength and focus. And with my baby on my back.

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