“Have you been witness to a fierce argument on a WhatsApp group?” Jigneshbhai asked the other day when we were having our coffee and muffin. That question excited Swami who kept his cup and muffin down.
“Arguments? I have witnessed dogfights, wrestling matches with crowds cheering on WhatsApp,” Swami replied and broke into a guffaw.
Jigneshbhai grinned and asked, “And fights on Facebook comments?”
Swami put a finger on his chin, mused over it and replied, “When the topic is sensitive, yes. Like politics or some issue, or some celebrity. But not like WhatsApp. Maybe because everyone can see it!”
Jigneshbhai sighed and continued. “Have you seen rage on Twitter?”
I wondered if he was doing some survey on anger on social media or what. But Swami was happy to give his responses.
“More like public naming and shaming there and all kinds of trolling, especially when it’s someone famous or wanting to get famous,” Swami responded.
“Hmm,” Jigneshbhai said. Then he asked, “Have you seen someone say one to one in person to someone – I am right and you are an idiot? Or someone having a dogfight in person?”
“No, not that I can remember,” Swami replied, stretching his memory.
“Interesting, isn’t it?” Jigneshbhai wondered aloud.
Interesting indeed, I reckoned.
Why do we behave differently in a group than when we would behave individually?
Why are we likely to do things on social media that we would not do face to face?
While I was pondering over it, Swami had already raced away with a question in his mind.
“Why the difference? Such a stark one that too?” Swami asked.
“This article says it’s due to deindividualization and dehumanization,” Jigneshbhai replied. He pointed to a website he had opened on his tablet.
These sounded like big terms. Jigneshbhai doesn’t engage in this kind of jargon, therefore, it was unusual.
I wasn’t the first one to realise that. Swami was faster, as usual.
“What does this jargon mean?” Swami asked.
“It means exactly this,” Jigneshbhai said.
“This? As in?” Swami asked with a question mark on his forehead.
“This means I can see the expression on your face now. I can’t when I talk to you on WhatsApp or FB,” Jigneshbhai said. “So I don’t have to handle that personal reaction or face it. So I can say whatever I want. Things I wouldn’t say if I met you or even called you on the phone,” Jigneshbhai explained.
“True. That’s dehumanization, I guess,” Swami inferred.
“Yeah,” Jigneshbhai said.
“And the other one?” Swami asked.
“It’s like the happy birthdays or good mornings on WhatsApp groups or on FB. In groups or online, you don’t care who wished you. If I call you and wish you good morning every day, you remember,” Jigneshbhai explained.
“Similarly if ten people are doing fiery cross talk, others don’t care who spoke what. So you can get away with saying anything. You won’t say those things if everyone noticed who said what,” he continued, while Swami and I heard intently.
“So that’s deindividualization, I guess,” Swami concluded rightly again.
“Yeah,” Jigneshbhai confirmed.
“So this combination of deindividualization which groups provide, and dehumanization which online interactions provide, leads to lack of social controls?” Swami asked.
“Yes, they say it can trigger reactions with a ferocity that is fierce and which, without this combination, would be unthinkable for most of us,” Jigneshbhai replied.
“So what do we do?” Swami asked.
“This article doesn’t say that,” Jigneshbhai answered with a grin and a wink in his eye.
“I think it’s better to get off these groups and social media,” Swami suggested.
“That isn’t practical,” Jigneshbhai said. “We have to live with them, at least to some extent, in today’s world.”
“Yeah, that’s true. So just some theory? Though it wasn’t bad,” Swami sulked. He looked at Jigneshbhai for action tips.
That’s when we saw the wealthy old man walk towards us from the adjoining table. He gave us a cryptic but practical tip.
“Be social offline, otherwise social media will make you antisocial online.”
Swami and I switched off our phones. We focused on each other, and the coffee and the muffins in front of us.
***