I am very much alive to the fact that my friend Swami is full of life and his penchant for activity does add spice to the lives of Jigneshbhai and me. But I cannot overlook the fact that he still has some things that he needs to improve upon. Especially when he more than just taps someone who doesn’t stand up for the national anthem in the cinema hall before the movie. I agree that not standing up for the national anthem is extremely insulting. But Jigneshbhai and I have been trying to tell Swami that there are ways better than the ones he adopted to handle such miscreants.
It all began last weekend when we decided to go watch a movie at the multiplex. As we entered the parking lot, Jigneshbhai had his familiar logical question. “When they open and check the car trunks, what are these security guys expecting to find? Do they think someone will actually carry a bomb in his car trunk and wait for security to find it like this?” A logical question, I thought, but it was the wrong time to ask it, especially while the security check was on. I neglected it once we got the parking ticket and moved in.
But Jigneshbhai’s set of logical questions did not end there. Security scanned us and let us go again as we entered the hall. “What are they looking for when they scan us? I have my keys, wallet and mobile. Do you think they have a list of prohibited items like the airport?” Jigneshbhai asked.
“Which hall?” I asked Swami who had the tickets, neglecting Jigneshbhai again.
“Hall 5,” he said, and we proceeded there. “Seat number J11, J12 and J13,” he read out. People walked in before us balancing their popcorn with the search for their seats. It was already dark inside when we took our seats. The trailers and the anti-smoking advertisements were still going on. “These ads are really gory. They are necessary, but I wonder whether they cause smokers to fear and quit cigarettes? Or do they just get used to the ads and look elsewhere?” Jigneshbhai was in his ‘question everything’ mood today. “We made it on time,” Swami whispered.
The movie was about to start, and it was time for the national anthem. Swami was the first among us to stand up. Jigneshbhai and I followed. Everyone else in the hall stood up by the time “Bharat Bhagya Vidhata” appeared on the screen.
But the man sitting in front of Swami remained seated and kept enjoying his popcorn. “Hold my tray for a sec,” he told the person next to him. “Stand up,” that person instructed him. But the man cleaned something from his jeans. His mobile phone rang at that time. He turned it to silent in a hurry and kept it back. The first few lines of the anthem got over, but he was still sitting. That’s when Swami lost his cool. He got his right leg up and “Whoosh….!” he went. With the precision of Messi and the power of Ronaldo, Swami hoisted a free kick on the man’s seat aiming at the centre.
“Bang!! Clang!! Thud!!!” With a loud bang and shouts of ouch, that man flew out of his seat like a missile and fell with a thud on the floor. “What the hell!! Who’s that?” he shouted on the trajectory from his seat to the floor. “Ouch, Aahh!! Oh my God!” followed when his posterior section dropped with a thud on to the floor of the hall. His feet were stuck in the seat in front. He held on to the arms of his creaking seat with his two arms. It resulted in a leg up, body down position. In this reverse position, his mobile dropped to the floor. “Clang!!” I could hear some broken glass pieces. The popcorn tray with the soft drink held by the person next to him flew with the impact of his leg. The tray went in the air like a flying projectile.. “Whoosh” It spilled in a rain of popcorn and Pepsi on the man standing ahead of him. “What the hell!! Who’s that?” that man looked behind. He had his nostrils all inflated and his eyes glaring. He had his fist ready to punch the man behind. But that man had fallen to the floor. “It’s not me!!” he shouted from below. The man saw the first man lying on the floor. The first man pointed behind him, “It’s the idiot behind me,” he said. “I don’t know why, but he kicked my chair out of the blue. Oh noo..Aahh!” he groaned in pain while getting up from the floor. “Not me, it’s you who is the idiot here. You did not stand up for the national anthem!” Swami shouted. “You bloody well deserve this treatment!” he continued.
What ensued thereafter is best left undescribed. If anybody felt that anger can be controlled while a national anthem is going on, then that anybody is sadly mistaken. Jigneshbhai and I found ourselves holding Swami’s left and right hand respectively to restrain him. “Swami, wait, noo..don’t hit him..cool down!” Jigneshbhai yelled. “Look, out there, No – back off,” I screamed seeing potential blows. We learnt how to use hands to restrain Swami as well as how to use legs simultaneously to stop attacks on him. “Wait wait, you will hurt him,” I shouted, followed by “No.. no..no..don’t get physical,” from Jigneshbhai. We tried to stop the man in front from getting closer. There were people near him trying to hold him back too. “Sit down please, sit down!” the person next to him shrieked trying to control matters. The man who got the popcorn and Pepsi shower stood on his seat. People near him tried to pull him down. “Get down from the chair. This is a cinema chair. It’s not stable. If you fall, you will hurt yourself,” a woman next to him cried out.
The ruckus lasted for a few short minutes. The movie started soon thereafter. The crowd made noise, “SShhhh.. Keep quiet please. Go out and fight.” Complete darkness and collective strength of others also helped. After the ruckus ended, despite three red hot heads, nobody exchanged any actual blows.
I heard the man in front say, “Wait till the interval and I will see you,” in chaste Hindi. The man in front of him cleaned up the popcorn and Pepsi spilled over him and his seat and I heard him join. “We will both together see him. He got saved now due to the movie and public.” They sat but I could see them turning their head back every few minutes. Their neighbours cajoled them to keep their attention on the movie in front.
We all settled back into our seats as the movie titles with the background music started. But I realised when the titles started that this was not the movie for which we had booked our tickets. Jigneshbhai and I looked at Swami. He searched his pockets for the tickets but couldn’t find them. “I had kept it in my pocket,” he said. “They must have fallen off in the scuffle,” he whispered in the dark. We decided to stay silent and continued to remain seated.
After ten minutes, three people came into the theatre. After searching around, they reached our seats. One of the men showed their tickets to Jigneshbhai in the dark, while the other two men waited behind him. Jigneshbhai didn’t even argue. He got up, and asked Swami and me, “The correct ticket holders have come. Start walking out from the other side towards the exit at the back.” He knew that we were the ones with the wrong tickets.
Once we came out, Swami straightened his shirt. Jigneshbhai and I told Swami that he needs to control his temper. Jigneshbhai was wild at Swami. “What kind of nonsensical behaviour was that?” he said. “But he was the one who didn’t stand up!” Swami revolted. “But you don’t go kicking and bashing everyone who does that. That is more dangerous to your health than your high counts. You will also get high blood pressure,” Jigneshbhai scolded. We were in no mood to find out which was the right hall for the movie we had booked tickets for. We had an ice cream to cool down, called it a day and went home.
Meanwhile, Somasekhar, Balu and his son started watching the movie. With all their combined astrological skills they couldn’t have predicted that Balu, who had taken Swami’s seat, was to get a thrashing in the interval, out of the blue, from the two men seated in front of them. “Karma works always,” Deja told us a few days back, “you never know how.” We realised how, only a lot many weeks later.