At 12.40 am, the watchman at the security gate of Keshav Kunj apartment woke up with a phone call on the intercom. “A bunch of people are making noise outside the gate. I am unable to sleep. Can you check who it is?” the voice on the other side said. The watchman instantly recognised it to be the Secretary of the apartment owners’ association. He stood up in his cabin and said, “Yes, Sir.”
He walked outside the gate and noticed two men standing next to a car in the visitor’s parking lot. They were laughing aloud from the depth of their stomachs. The door of the car was ajar. The music system was on at a high volume. Even amidst the steady drizzle, the watchman recognised the beats of the song that played. One of the men had an umbrella in his hand trying to cover both of them.
“You got just one umbrella, idiot?” the man standing near the car door patted the other’s shoulder in camaraderie. “Now how will you go back? Take it with you,” he howled.
“You don’t worry about me,” the first man replied. He held the open umbrella above their heads. “You need it. I will manage. I just have to run a few meters back to my house,” he cackled. “You have to drive all the way home and then walk a bit. Be careful,” he said and patted him on the cheek.
“Oh, come one, Amit,” the man near the car door said. “Just a few beers and you are worrying about my driving. Don’t you remember how I sped back on our scooter in college so many times after our weekend bashes?” he broke into a guffaw as he pulled something out of their memories.
“That’s the reason I am worried, Samir. I still shudder at the memories of your driving,” he howled.
The watchman pulled back the hood of his raincoat and stood near the men as he reached close.
“Sir,” he mumbled, with one hand raised. “Sir.. please..,” he said trying to catch their attention.
Amit turned towards the watchman. “Yes, who are you?” he asked.
The watchman pulled himself back to avoid the strong smell of beer from Amit’s mouth.
“Security Sir. Watchman on night duty,” the watchman replied.
“What watchman? Which. umm. duty?” Samir walked across from the car door closer towards them.
“Sir, Keshav Kunj,” the watchman mumbled, moving farther from Samir. He pointed to the apartment gate some distance away. “They are complaining about the noise, Sir.”
Amit looked at the gate and turned towards Samir who tottered back towards the car. Samir turned the volume of the music system even louder and cried back, “Is this better?”
Amit walked towards Samir’s car and lowered the volume. He turned to the watchman and in a loud voice asked him, “Who is complaining? What is their problem?”
“Sir, the secretary had called on intercom. Sir, he is unable to sleep.”
Amit and Samir broke into a loud roar for a few seconds. “Ask him to join us. After all, it is Saturday night,” Samir sniggered behind Amit’s back looking at the watchman.
“We have a few beers left at home,” Amit said. They exchanged a high-five and hugged each other.
“Tell him that he can join us in C Wing, you know. Second floor. The weather is good, too,” Samir said mockingly. “What’s your flat number, buddy?” he turned to Amit.
“C-204,” Amit said, and turned to the watchman. “I live here. Tell the secretary that it is not his father’s kingdom that he can order people around here to go to sleep.”
“Ask him to cover his ears,” Samir added. He gestured at the watchman to go back.
The watchman turned and rushed back in the rain to his cabin. A man in a black raincoat and a black helmet covering his head stood with a food bag in his hand near the cabin. For a brief moment, the watchman wondered who the man was, till he realised he had come for food delivery. From a distance, the watchman waved his permission to the man and let him go inside the apartment.
Then, in a hurry, he called the secretary.
“Venkat Sir, they are residents, Sir. They are in visitor parking,” he reported.
“Residents? So, don’t they know the bylaws? Idiots of the first order,” he grumbled. “Tell them to talk softly and shut off the music. It is disturbing everyone,” the secretary shouted in an irate voice.
“Sir, I told them.. But umm.. how to say.. Sir.. they look.. uh.. drunk, Sir,” the watchman said.
There were a few seconds of silence on the line. Venkat was too shocked to react.
“Ok, we will teach them a lesson. They are a security risk. Don’t let them enter the apartment now,” he said and banged the phone on his table.
The watchman slipped into his chair in the cabin. He watched the pitter patter of the rain outside.
***
“What kind of dictators you have in your apartment, buddy?” Samir meanwhile asked Amit.
“He is a total jerk, everyone knows,” Amit replied. “Anyway, forget that guy. Listen, will you be able to drive? I think you are not in good shape,” he added.
“Look, you are getting old buddy. If you are so worried after… umm.. what..? having just four beers…? why don’t you drop me home?” Samir said, now irritated. “Here take the keys,” he pushed a bunch of keys into Amit’s palm. Amit was unmoved. He watched the drizzle getting heavier.
“I could have dropped you, but I haven’t closed my house door. So, I will have to go back,” he said.
“Why? You forgot to close the door? Buddy, I think you have had too many drinks yourself.. Didn’t you have a bottle more than me?” Samir poked fun at Amit.
“No Sam – don’t you remember that you called me after stepping down that you need an umbrella? So, I just rushed out of my house with it. Anyway, I don’t think either of us should drive.”
“So, what do you want to do, Amit, the wise one?”
“Let’s just get back home.. Tomorrow morning, you can go back. Anyway, nobody’s waiting.”
Samir nodded after a few moments. “Maybe you are right,” he said. He locked his car and wobbled along with Amit under the umbrella towards the gate.
***
At the security gate, the watchman stopped them.
“Sir, you cannot enter,” he said and didn’t open the gate.
“Why? I stay here. I told you some time back,” Amit replied. He tried to push it open, but the watchman had locked it from inside.
“For the security of the apartment, Sir. I have orders, Sir,” the watchman replied.
Amit watched helplessly at the watchman and then at Samir.
“Who is this jerk who gave you those stupid orders?” Samir stepped ahead. Amit held him back.
The watchman stood silently next to the locked gate on the edge of his cabin door. The only way to enter the apartment now was to walk through the security cabin to the other side.
“I will see who will stop me from getting into my own house,” Amit said moving closer to the security cabin. Samir started banging onto the gate. Samir then moved closer to the watchman standing outside the cabin and jabbed him on his right shoulder. The watchman tried to move away.
“Tell us who gave you the orders. We want to see who he is,” Samir poked the watchman further.
When that didn’t work, Samir pushed the watchman trying to get him aside so that they could walk inside through the security cabin. The watchman pushed Samir back, went into his cabin, closed its door, and picked up the intercom.
“Venkat Sir, they are…uhm.. pushing and.. well.. fighting with me. I can.. umm.. smell the foul stink, Sir,” he said, calling the secretary.
“Wait there. Guard the gate. I will come down,” the secretary said and disconnected.
***
Venkat picked up the phone and dialled his close friend, and Vice President of the association, Kartik.
“Kartik, sorry to call you up this late. There is an emergency,” he said.
“What happened, Venkat?” Kartik asked with a yawn, rubbing his eyes.
“I don’t know how to say this.. Don’t know who rents their flat to such drunkards!”
“Drunkards?”
“Yes, a couple of residents.. they are outside the gate.. making a scene… and hitting our watchman..”
“Oh – uncouth, loud fellows.. Are they… from.. umm.. you know.. that same belt?”
“Yeah, I am sure.. they must be.. who else plays loud music after midnight loitering outside after being a few pegs down??!!!”
“Nonsense.. These rascals.. I will run down to the gate..”
“Yes, same here.. rushing..”
Kartik picked up a stick, just in case, as he ran out and reached the gate before Venkat.
He banged the stick on the closed iron gate, while Amit and Samir banged the gate with their hands. When Venkat reached, Kartik was in a fist fight with Samir. The watchman was on the ground.
Venkat separated the two and Amit helped the watchman get back to his feet.
“Who is the resident among you two?” Venkat asked rubbing his red eyes.
“You don’t even know the residents and you go around stopping them!” Samir said.
Amit pushed Samir away and came closer to Venkat. “I am Amit.. I stay in C Wing. Second floor.”
“You should have known, Mr. Amit, that as per the bylaws, playing loud music in the apartment is not allowed after 11 pm…,”
“This is not your father’s apartment..,“ Samir barged in. Venkat stole an angry glance at Samir.
“Technically, we were outside the apartment,” Amit argued.
“But it disturbed the residents. As a responsible resident, you should have realised…”
“But who are you to teach us responsibility??” Samir interjected again. Amit pulled him back.
“Mr. Venkat, you are biased against us. We were here only for ten-fifteen minutes. The society function yesterday went on till 11 pm with glaring music too…”
“But that was after we had given permission.. as per the bylaws..”
“And which bylaw allows the watchman to stop residents from entering their own house..?”
“Bylaws allow association position holders to take action in emergency security situations..”
“What was the emergency here..? by the way.. who told you there was a security emergency?”
“Well.. when a bunch of drunk men…”
“Mind your language Mr Venkat… We were not drunk.. I don’t know if you understand that there is a difference between having a few drinks and getting drunk..”
“I know.. everyone knows.. you don’t need to teach me what…”
It was at that moment that a man with a black raincoat and black helmet with a food bag hurried to the gate from inside. He slowed down on seeing the men involved in a brouhaha at the gate. He reached the closed gate and waited for a moment, but none of the fighting men noticed him. The watchman recollected that it was the food delivery man. He opened the gate and let him go out. Everyone watched in silence, waiting to get back the tempo of their side of the argument soon.
But with the gate now open, Amit and Samir pushed themselves inside. They stood close to each other, hands over each other’s shoulders, under one umbrella, daring the other side to stop them.
Venkat and Kartik didn’t take the challenge, now that the other side had come inside. The drizzle had tuned a bit heavier and wasn’t exactly encouraging of another fight. They stepped away from the gate angrily as Amit and Samir sneaked inside. The watchman tried to lock the gate again in a hurry.
“Why are you locking it now? They have come in…,” Venkat yelled at the watchman.
“You should not have locked it in the first place..” Amit howled at the watchman.
The watchman didn’t know what to do. He left the gate open and walked back to his security cabin. Thanks to the interruption by the food delivery man with the black raincoat and black helmet, the heated situation had lost its intensity. It started fizzling out.
“Nobody can stop us from entering our own house,” Samir taunted Venkat and Kartik. He stumbled along the walkway towards the C Wing with Amit.
“I will make sure that everyone knows about this shameful behaviour by these uncouth drunkards. We will amend the bylaws,” Venkat said, boiling with rage.
“We will enforce background checks. Owners cannot let out flats to people who are security risks,” Kartik agreed, adding small fuel to the cooling embers of the fire, on their way back home.
***
When they reached home, Amit saw that the door to his flat was open. The lights and TV were still on. On the floor of his living room were bottles of beer, plates of snacks, a TV remote, sofa pillow, and his house keys. He didn’t quite recollect but the flat looked in the same state, more or less, that he had left it while rushing down. His wallet was lying open and empty on the floor next to the keys. Amit latched the door, switched off the lights and both of them crashed on the bed inside.
Meanwhile, the man in the black raincoat removed his black helmet when the drizzle stopped and counted the notes with glee. Though, for a moment, his heart had missed a beat when he had seen some people awake at the security gate on his way out.
***