“Can you tell me what’s in this envelope?” Shashi Godbole asked Judith. Shashi had come straight from the airport to her office. She had returned from a business trip to China.
“Open it and see, Shashi,” Judith said. She took the envelope from Shashi and tried to open it.
“No..no..no – don’t open it. It’s a letter from my husband,” Shashi said. Her lips quivered and her hands shivered.
“Oh oh,” Judith twisted her lips and teased her. “After all these years, he writes letters to you? And why are you carrying it around?”
“He has asked me for a divorce. I cheated him and the kids when I went to China,” Shashi said. The stoic expression on her face shocked everyone listening. It stripped Judith’s face of the smile in an instant.
Judith’s eyes flashed and her mouth gaped open.
“What are you saying Shashi?” Judith held Shashi’s hand.
“Well, I don’t know for sure. But what else can it be? Can you tell me what’s inside?” Shashi asked Judith again.
“It could be so many things Shashi. It might be a love letter. It might be a surprise from your husband and kids. Let us open it and see,” Judith said, gathering her calm.
“No..no..no. Don’t open it. I am sure it’s a letter from my husband. He has asked me for a divorce. I cheated him and the kids when I went to China.” Shashi insisted with trembling hands. She walked across the floor of the office taking steps at a rapid pace. A couple of others near Judith’s cubicle overheard the conversation and stood up.
“Did you have a fight, Shashi?” Judith asked.
“No Judith. No fight. But I am sure this is a divorce letter from my husband. I have cheated him and my kids when I went to China,” Shashi said.
An exasperated Judith wiped the sweat on her brow. “What’s wrong with you, Shashi? Let me call your husband. Give me his number. Sit down, calm down Shashi. After so many years, husbands don’t send divorce letters like this,” Judith said.
But Shashi didn’t sit. She moved on with a shudder to another colleague of hers.
“Do you know what’s in this envelope?” she asked again.
“Open it and see, Madam,” the engineer in her team said, like most others.
“No..no…no. I can’t open it. They gave it to me at the Chinese airport today. It’s a letter from my husband. He has asked me for a divorce. I cheated him and the kids when I went to China.”
The engineer felt something was creepy here and went for a coffee. A couple of others followed suit shrugging their shoulders.
Judith worried for Shashi now. She walked with her. Shashi stepped away and went to the scanner room in a hurry.
“I need a scan of this letter,” she told the person standing near the printer and scanner.
“Ok – sure madam,” the person said.
Shashi had worked in the company for several years and most people knew her. Particularly popular was the wonderful food she cooked. She brought her recipes for others in the office every week.
She showed the person the envelope.
“Can you tell me what’s inside this envelope using the scanner?” she asked the person. Then she added, “But without opening it please.”
Judith said, “Shashi, we will have to open the envelope and remove the letter to take a scan.”
The person didn’t know how to react. Was she serious, he wondered? But unable to fathom what’s going on, he replied “You can open it and see, Madam.”
“No..no..no. I can’t open it and you should also not open it while doing the Scan. It’s a letter from my husband. He has asked me for a divorce. I cheated him and my kids when I went to China.”
“Are you ok? Be seated, Madam,” he said and slipped away.
Judith stared at Shashi with knitted brows and a frown that belied the serious worry she felt for her.
Shashi started wondering why everyone was behaving as if she was crazy. What’s wrong with asking someone what’s inside the envelope? But when many people together say you are mad, even a sane woman can start believing she is mad.
***
“Did you drop the kids to school?” Shashi had enquired, about a month back, on her way to office. “What about their breakfast? And yours?”
“Yes – I had it and gave it to them. Don’t worry. Nice parathas, by the way,” her husband replied, with a wink in his eye.
“I will pick the kids up from the day care on my way from work,” she said, neglecting his comment.
“Cool. By the way, you cooked all this today morning? What time did you wake up?” he asked, trying to distract his wife. But she neglected that too.
“What about your dinner? What time will you be coming home?” she inquired.
“Shashi, you forgot – I have an office dinner tonight. I will go there straight from office. Will get home late,” her husband reminded Shashi.
“Yeah – I forgot. I had made your favourite dish today. Anyway, have that tomorrow now,” she expressed her concern.
“Fine – or might I surprise you by coming home early and have it? And then go late for the office dinner? What say?” her husband said.
“Ok. I will keep aside your dish,” Shashi said. Her husband’s attempts at flirting Shashi weren’t working. He tried to steer the conversation away from food, family, and responsibilities. And towards some light banter. But that wasn’t working. He knew Shashi had always been like this though. She always needed a chill pill.
“By the way, what happened to your China trip?” he asked.
“Nothing firm yet. But I can’t leave you and the kids alone,” she said.
“Its only two months, or even lesser, isn’t it?” he said.
“No, whatever it is – I am not going,” her voice had a tone of finality. “Anyway, they haven’t decided anything yet. So, that’s good for us.”
“Ok, but why don’t you want to go?” he asked.
“You know he has to go to badminton classes. She has to go to dance classes,” she told her husband about her son and daughter. “If I am away for two months, how will you manage? Otherwise what’s there in their life other than studies? I want them to continue with these. If we aren’t serious about these classes, how will the kids be serious about them?” she clarified her strong point of view.
“But why so many classes? It is tough for you. You already do it for his Maths tuition and her English tuition. Plus now the dance and badminton. And you cook every day. Plus there’s your work. Why? We can have a cook, so you save time on cooking, at least,” her husband insisted.
“No..no..no. I love cooking. I am going to do it myself. Besides the cooks here cannot make your and the kids’ favourite dishes that well. You will not like it. My food is good for your health,” she said. “I have reached office,” she added, and hung up.
“Ok,” he said and shut up. “When will this woman learn to chill? She needs a vacation,” he thought while driving.
Shashi was running late for her meeting. She rushed to her desk, kept her bag and laptop, and joined the meeting room. The meeting had already started. The boss made an important announcement in the meeting. “Our company is opening a new office in China.”
“Wow, congratulations!” everyone exclaimed.
“Me and Shashi, our senior most employee, will be going to China at the end of this month for two weeks to set it up,” he declared.
This decision and the public announcement shocked Shashi. Thoughts of her kids and husband started going through her mind. She had never left them alone in all these years. How will they manage? she thought. What about their classes? Oh, and they have their exams in two weeks, she remembered. What about the kids’ food? Oh, and her husband had said he had some business visitors he wanted to host at home in that week, she remembered. Who will do the arrangements? And the cooking?
She was an engineer by profession. But she was a wife and mother in her heart and soul.
Others in the office were celebrating while Shashi, lost in thought, didn’t celebrate. A few came forward and congratulated her but drew a blank.
***
“Wow – you should go. Don’t worry,” her husband said, when she called him.
“But what about you and the kids?” Shashi revolted.
“We will manage – now we are a bit grown up!” he joked with a wink in the eye.
It was tough to convince her. But after lots of coaxing, Shashi went to China with her boss as planned. They set up the office of their company over next two weeks.
“Every day I get convinced that I should not have come to China,” she told her husband.
“Why? It’s a good experience. And it’s only two weeks,” he said.
“But I miss the kids. And you,” she said with tears welling up.
“Hold on, it’s only a few more days,” he said.
“Make sure you take care of yourself. And the kids,” Shashi continued.
Her husband called her three days before she was to leave back.
“Surprise!” he and the kids shrieked into the phone. “We are coming to China,” her son yelled.
“Coming to China?” she asked.
“Yes, for a vacation!” her daughter howled and started dancing.
It was a surprise, a pleasant one though, and Shashi asked her husband, “What are the kids saying?”
“Yes, I booked a China vacation for us. Got our visas and flight tickets today. We are joining you on the day you finish your work,” he explained. “It is a surprise vacation. You need some time off, my dear,” he added.
Shashi was not used to such surprises. “What is this new surprise thing? I wanted to come home and cook some good food for you all. I am fed up with this Chinese food here!” she told him.
“We have made all arrangements now,” her husband said. “It’s a surprise.”
“Exams are over,” her son yelped in the background. “And the vacations have started. This is our holiday,” her daughter exulted in the background. Her husband smiled when Shashi broke into a smile, at last. It now sunk in. It was a pleasant surprise. They were meeting soon. And they were going on a vacation.
“But you did not tell me anything about this. Only you and Papa planned this? This is cheating,” she admonished her kids in playful banter.
They broke into a loud laughter.
“I tell you everything. I have never cheated you. This is cheating. Cheater kids of a cheater Papa!!” she further added with a wide grin on her face.
“But you cheated Papa and us before that,” her younger daughter put her thumb up and quipped back. She poked her nose at the screen of the phone during the video call.
“No. No dear. How did I cheat you?” Shashi asked blowing a playful kiss to her daughter.
Her daughter stood up and continued with her repartee. “By going to China. We don’t go anywhere leaving you alone. You went to China leaving us alone. You are a cheater,” she said, and started twisting her waist in an impromptu song and dance.
Her son added, “That too, during our exams.” And both the kids held hands and danced in a circle, shouting, “Mummy cheater, mummy cheater.” Her husband saw a teardrop spilling out from Shashi’s eyes on to her cheeks.
“Don’t speak like that to Mummy,” her husband chided the daughter. “Mummy will feel bad.” The kids stopped shouting and went to their room.
Yes – she did feel bad, though it was a prank. She felt like she had indeed cheated them. Shashi Godbole didn’t care about her company’s new office now. All she cared about was her husband and her kids.
“I had told you I didn’t want to come to China,” she later complained to her husband in private. “The kids feel my absence.”
“Oh – the kids say something in their pranks. They are enjoying themselves. Don’t turn serious because of what they said in fun. It was only a joke, my dear.” He consoled her.
She told herself, yeah it was fun, and its ok. Sometimes these things happen. Everything is not in our control. One has to travel for work sometimes. And kids don’t mean everything they say. She found her mood improving.
“Cheer up now. See you in a few days, my dear,” her husband said before hanging up.
***
So, Shashi finished her work and told her boss of the plans. He wished her well and told her to enjoy herself. He left China and went back home as planned while Shashi extended her stay.
Shashi waited for her husband and her kids in China. All packed up to meet them and for the surprise vacation.
But they never came. She waited for a day. She might have confused their date; she thought and checked their tickets. They were fine, she had made no mistake. She tried to reach her husband on her phone but to no avail. She wasn’t sure his phone would work in China. Finally on the next day, she decided to leave China and return home. She enquired about them at the airport before she left. All they did was gave her the envelope she was carrying now when she landed to the office.
That envelope was her biggest fear come true.
It contained the death certificates of Shashi Godbole’s husband and kids. They were on the ill-fated flight from Malaysia to China. The flight MH370 that disappeared and was never found. Shashi Godbole had opened the envelope once and had not dared to look at it again.
***